A wedding celebrates the love of two people for each other in the company of close friends and family. But after the ecstatic haze of the wedding ceremony wears off, life as a newly-wedded couple starts immediately. For the first few months up to a year, living together can take a toll on the marriage. You might find yourselves fighting with each other almost all the time over the most mundane things where bigger problems can arise. But going through this is normal as this is the adjusting period where you find what is “normal” in your relationship. Once you get through it, you will emerge as stronger and better individuals and an even stronger couple.
To help you adjust to your new life with your partner, here are some practical and life-altering advice that couples who made it years after their wedding swear by.
Know that love and happiness can be dulled but will always be there
Many newlyweds tend to think that married life has to be filled with much love and happiness. But the truth is that joy will sometimes fade into the background as arguments will always arise to teach you both essential life lessons. You don’t have to seek out happiness all the time as it will come when it is deserved. Love, on the other hand, will always be there if you genuinely care about each other. The inevitable bickering and quarrels can temporarily overshadow it as you learn more about each other.
Decide early on how to handle finances
Money matters is a big issue for when couples start living together. When personal funds become joint funds, money can easily start fights and create rifts in your relationship. So early in your marriage, you have to take about it as a couple and settle how you will deal with all your income. You have the option of keeping accounts and funds separate in personal bank accounts or create a joint account to manage your resources easier. Both have pros and cons, so try to find the best compromise for your specific needs as a married couple.
Depend on each other in both happy and difficult times
When you both said “I do,” you promised to become the main support unit of your partner and lean on each other for the rest of your lives. This means that you have to be there for each other in both happy and challenging times. From simple chores like going to the dentist for dental implant surgery or applying for a new job to more life-changing events like a family member’s death or discovering a severe health issue, you will always have to try to provide as much support as your partner needs.
Take time to care for yourself
This may seem contrary to the previous tip, but it is also essential to set aside a bit of time for yourself. Even if you have to support each other all the time, your partner doesn’t have to be your everything. Some distance between the two of you can be beneficial in your self-care. When you repeatedly fail at something, you should take a step back, reassess the situation, and go right back in to deal with it. In the same sense, when the relationship starts to become a difficult chore, you can pull yourself away for a bit to maybe indulge yourself with a treatment or just spend some time by yourself in silence. Then, you can start having a peaceful and rational conversation after you’ve cleared your heart and mind.
Maintain the intimacy and romance
Usually, romance lingers for a few days or weeks after the wedding but will slowly disappear when the adjustment of living with each other as a married couple starts. Work can even come in the way of your intimate moments. But romance and intimacy are powerful factors that can keep couples together. So it is vital to put effort into maintaining romance in your relationship even when you are both occupied with other things all the time.
Your first few months and years can be difficult when you question yourself if you made the right choice of marrying your partner. But this is a learning period for both of you. You will inevitably see the real character of your partner while they will see the real you, so major adjustments and plenty of compromises will have to be made if you want to keep making your relationship work. After all, you are two different people that have to understand each other’s differences. Once you survive the beginning, staying happy together will get easier as time goes by. So keep these tips in mind to better deal with problems and promote happiness early in your marriage.
