Newlywed couples often find themselves wanting to build their own definition of a perfect home. Since it can be tricky to find the house of your dreams, many people find themselves renovating the house they bought. But more often than not, this ends up ruining their relationship.
Why Many Couples Get Stressed During a Renovation
Many things can trigger renovation stress among married couples. Money is often the root cause of all stress. When couples fight because of financial matters during a renovation, this can fuel a heated argument and ruin their mood.
Then there’s the difference in tastes and preferences. Your partner might want an open space while you, on the other hand, would rather have rooms in the house with a bit of privacy. He might prefer a smaller, easy-to-maintain lawn while you want a more intricate landscape that requires lots of tending.
Some people want an extensive renovation, while others simply want to tackle maintenance and repairs. When a renovation highlights a couple’s contrast in tastes, goals, and values, this can quickly escalate deep-seated feelings. One or both parties might suddenly realize that they can never agree on one thing, including their home.
There are times when only one wants to do the renovation, and the other let their partner do what they want. The tendency is, the partner in charge does what they see fit just to improve their home. Poor communication can make the other party feel neglected, which can lead to arguments.
Keeping Your Marriage During a Renovation
According to a study, up to 12% of couples consider calling it quits during a renovation. How can you save your marriage when your home badly needs a home makeover?
Find a Mediator
For couples who are having a hard time with the renovation planning, it is best to find a mediator who won’t be biased against any party. Having a family or friend come over to act as your mediator is not a good idea since the other party might think this is not a fair way to settle things. Instead, find a local interior designer.
Such a professional can offer expert advice by asking for both of your preferences. They can make things work and have the key elements you want in your home included in your renovation. This can help settle arguments that have been going on for a while.
For instance, you and your partner are torn between which types of flooring to replace your old floors. If you are both after resilient flooring that requires little to no maintenance, your interior designer can suggest vinyl flooring installation. They can tell you the good and the bad between luxury vinyl and vinyl sheet flooring, making it easier for you and your spouse to decide.
Communicate and Compensate
The keys to a successful renovation are communication and compensation. Remember that you share your home with your significant other. This means there is a need to communicate everything from start to finish.
Stop making decisions by yourself, especially if you know that your partner has other plans in mind. Sit down with your spouse, discuss the projects you wish to tackle, and meet halfway. This will ensure that everyone is happy with the renovation.
For example, you want to be in charge of the kitchen since you are the one who is always cooking and preparing food for the family. On the other hand, your spouse can be in charge of the other parts of the house. By giving each other a space you can be in charge of, you can both focus on each project and be happier with the results.
Watch and Listen for Expectation
Sometimes, the clues your partners are dropping are not that obvious to you. Is he suddenly spending more time at home working on his computer? Ask him if he can use his own home office instead of turning the spare room into another room he can’t utilize.
Your partner can suddenly be interested in dual convection over that has more cooking modes. If you do not share thoughts about such a particular appliance, he can silently tell you that he might now be interested in helping you prepare your family meals. Ask him about his thoughts, and you might be surprised by his answers.
Don’t simply expect that your partner will love your renovation ideas. Get your spouse and the family involved. Remember that you are not the only one paying for the project. They, too, are going to live in the newly renovated home. Keep an open line of communication, use your eyes and ears for reference, and if needed, look for a mediator to give unbiased suggestions.